Beyond Perfectionism

If you are a preacher’s kid or a missionary kid you probably have seen or read the book “I have to be Perfect” by Timothy Sanford. I will never forget reading this several years ago in my late twenties. There is a questionnaire in the middle that you can fill out and rate, what they call a “holy heresy” on a scale of 1, being not true at all to 4, almost always true. Out of the nine I rated a 4 on seven of them and 3 on two. AH HA! So that’s why I’m like that. Just kidding. I fully believe God has made me who I am and he has shaped and molded me to be who I am today through all my trails and triumphs. I am thankful for my upbringing and there truly is no negative or bitter feelings hidden in my heart. However, it is interesting to note that based on my lifestyle growing up, I tend to have certain issues that may hinder or make my path in life a little more difficult. We've all had the psychology class about nature vs nurture. You can take a set of twins, separate them at birth for 20 years and then reunite them and see all kind of differences based on how they were raised but also see many likes (other than maybe their looks) because of just who they are and how God made them.

I have seen through the years in how I raise my children that I carry many of the same convictions my parents carried in raising me and my brother. Sure, I do some things differently but for the most part, because of our similar faith, we share the same convictions.

I was raised in a Christian home. I am a missionary kid. I have served God most of my life. I did have a couple of years of rebellion in which God completely turned my life back around. Thank you Jesus for your healing and forgiveness. Yes, I still struggle to live out my daily life pleasing to the Lord, remembering to have devotions every day, pray everyday, have wisdom in making right decisions, not getting angry or yelling, having a bad attitude, complaining. We die daily and it is a moment by moment journey we are on in this life till we reach heaven.

I have rested in the verse all 15 ½ years my husband and I have been married that “As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord” found in the book of Joshua. I have prayed over our marriage and over our children. We are faithful to church, faithful to serving and faithful to giving. I have been through the desert in my walk with Christ, and I have been through the showers of rain and refreshing. It is a journey. My utmost desire is always to draw closer to him and see my kids do the same. I know there are many, many Christian mothers whose heart holds the same desire.

What if one day you wake up and you say to yourself “where did I go wrong?” This doesn't happen to Christian families and this certainly doesn't happen to OUR family. My children were brought up to know better. I couldn't mess up as a child and my children can’t mess up either.  Perfection. When did it set in?

I woke to these very questions and not just once but several times. Each time, God reminded me that “no, there is no one who does good” Psalms 42. He also reminds me that each one comes to a point of decision. He gives man a choice.  God also gives us promises. “Train up a child in the way he/she should go and he/she will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6.  I know God hears my prayer each day that I raise to him concerning my children. When they cannot know how to pray for themselves, I know God allows me to intercede for them. In the midst of their chaos and bad decisions, I know God’s army of angels is surrounding them. I know! I know! I know that I know! It is these promises of God I cling to. It is not anything I have done or haven’t done. This one thing I know, that I will seek Him all the days of my life and I can only pray that God shines his light through me to my children and that one day they will carry that same desire, to seek God with all they have. In the meantime, it’s not me and it’s not my husband. It’s the enemy of this world that seeks to kill, steal and destroy. But God says he has overcome this world and we can claim victory and the right to come against the bondage that is trying to take hold of our children. I will continue to seek Him and pray in the spirit and anoint my home and believe it is covered by the precious blood of the Lamb and no one can separate me or my family from the love of Christ.

My children will make mistakes and your children will make mistakes. Whether small or big, we can rest in God’s promise and in his peace that passes all understanding. In this world today we cannot afford to go one day without bringing them before the Lord.

I have also realized in these past few hours of God speaking to my heart, that it’s ok to ask for help. In the midst of perfectionism, help is not in our vocabulary. Today, it is and I have reached out for help. God has seen my cry and it’s all in His hands. Will you lay your children at the cross today? Will you surrender them to the Lord? To all the dear mothers and fathers whom God loves so much, He loves your children too!