“That overwhelming feeling you get when you’ve seen the hand
of God at work and no words are adequate enough to express your gratitude, your
worship then becomes a speechless moment of awe.”
I’m in the middle of my devotion and prayer time this
morning. It’s okay that I’m writing because I asked God if I could pause and
express my thankfulness with pen and paper, He said it was fine :-). I certainly
do not feel I adequately do so, but here goes once again.
.
I am at home right now and not working. A stay at home mom
can be a full time job, more so when your kids are younger. My kids, however,
are older and in school all day. Therefore, this leaves me with quite bit of
time on my hands. Sometimes this can be dangerous for the mind. Yes, this week
in particular has been one big roller coaster.
This past Monday I said goodbye to my parents as they headed
to the airport to the far away continent of Africa. I have done this countless
times…. you know, said goodbye. Why does
it never get easier? This time was probably the hardest. I cannot and will not
ever be alone again after they leave. As
I shut the door and turned back into the house, I thought my heart would break
in two. I should have taken my husband’s offer of staying home with me! With
their leaving, and our constant battle of still trying to settle in here (we
moved states 9 months ago), and now complete boredom, I felt doomed.
I know much of my feelings rested on our lack
of community and church family that normally surrounds us. Moving has been
hard, or maybe I should stay settling in has been hard. I know our plans are
not always God’s plans. He brings us through circumstances and seasons in order
to grow us, and make us dependent on Him.
If our situation was any different we may not have drawn close to Him.
If I look at each difficult time in this way, it brings more understanding and
the ability to grow from hardship and trials.
The one burden I have been carrying, which in a way, has
made everything else seem like mountains. Isn’t that always the case? You get
upset over one thing but usually it’s because you are already in turmoil over
something else and all other things only exacerbate it. I have to stop there and thank my husband. I
believe God brought a little light to my despair this week through my husband.
Thank you Jesus for a godly man in my life who stands with me in prayer. This burden I carry is still something heavy
on my shoulders. I’m not sure why it’s still there and why God hasn’t answered
my prayer regarding it. I should say he hasn’t answered the way I want him to
answer. I know He’s working and in the end, maybe not till heaven, I will see
why he led us through this.
Here is where I wanted to begin writing, or what caused my
urge to express and that is the awe that I found myself in. Over dinner last
night we discussed this burden of ours (it’s really the family’s). I have
prayed so fervently for our children’s understanding, so much so, that I felt this
would be the final straw if it didn’t go well. Can you believe that while our
discussion went on and we got through it, I never once thought to thank the
Lord. I didn’t even think…Hello!! This is something I’ve prayed for and God has
answered clearly! It couldn’t have gone
better and the relief I felt was immense. The fog of the week seems to have lifted
and once again I felt motivated to keep going.
I love God’s “pick me ups”. Red Bull has nothing on God! And so, it closes another chapter. The story is not over, by any means, and once
again we are on a search for what God has for us. It reminds me of 2 Corinthians 4:8-9; “We are
pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed,
but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We
get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.” Yep, that about sums it up. So
here I stand, undefeated, with more power to go forward in what God has for us.
I read a post the other day about waiting. Waiting is hard,
especially when your deep desire is to serve God with such overwhelming passion,
and nothing seems to be at your doorstep. I have to stop here and say that
there is something at my doorstep. It may not be what I have envisioned but for
today, it’s what God has laid there, for me to minister to and show Christ’s
love. This, my friends, is my family. Sharing family devotions last night and
talking about church and where God wants us, praying together, seeing God
answer, it was priceless.
My prayer and encouragement for you is several areas. I pray
you are able to see and hear from the Lord the answer to a prayer that is
burdening your heart today. He is here, he hears, he listens and most of all he
loves. He loves us with unconditional love. He loves your children too and be
encouraged, he hears your prayers for them. May you also remember that you are
Christ’s servant in whatever you are doing in this season of life. Whatever God
has placed at your doorstep, may you serve as if you were serving Christ
himself and then be willing to follow wherever He leads.
